How are you? It's been a long time since anybody's ever asked me that ... I'm great
Lester Burnham: Janie, today I quit my job. And then I told my boss to go f*** himself, and then I blackmailed him for almost sixty thousand dollars. Pass the asparagus.
Lester Burnham: [narrating] That's my wife, Carolyn. See the way the handle on her pruning shears matches her gardening clogs? That's not an accident.
'It's okay, I wouldn't remember me either